[But he’s not thinking of a warm beach or a hot summer. The warmth he’s imagining is different. It drives a spike through him, red hot, so intense that his teeth grit, his body curling in tighter on itself, and, subsequently, Aubrey.
[Winters in the cadets’ barracks could be brutal. Layers of clothes did little to fight off the chill, the breaths of he and his comrades clouding the air in front of them like titan steam.
[There’s a vivid image in Eren’s mind: a strong, square jaw and blonde hair - a smile that could warm anyone’s soul. It’s late and growing ever colder, the wind outside howling loudly over a cacophony of chattering teeth and stifled, shivering laughter. Reiner Braun’s arms are tight around him, squeezing tightly and playfully, Eren groaning through a laugh at the pressure.
[”Gotta stay warm, Eren. Nothing else I can do,” his deep voice teases. Eren is snickering into his chest. Reiner feels impossibly warm, but still, they’re both shivering.
[”I’ll die from you— oof— cracking my spine before I die f-from the cold, Reiner.”
[Reiner grinds his chin roughly into Eren’s scalp - a makeshift noogie while their hands are occupied. There are laughs of protest, squirming - it’s too cold to wrestle, but they try to with their legs. Neither can fight off shudders every few seconds, squeezing each other tighter.
[”Is this shit…e-ever gonna let up?” Eren asks.
[”What, you don’t want to go out sledding? Snowball fight?”
[Another blast of cold sends Eren’s face burrowing into Reiner’s chest as they both take shuddering breaths. Strong hands rub warm circles on Eren’s back.
[It’s not just a fond memory. It’s warmth, and admiration, the bond that only two people suffering the same hell can share. Their sameness, and their closeness, and the way Eren feels Reiner close and thinks, “I’d do anything to be like him. This is my hero.”
[But there’s a rot to this memory too. Hatred, as black and deep as the void of space. Pain. The arrows of betrayal, piercing every inch of Eren.
[Grief, all-consuming, as if being swallowed and drowned. Longing. Overwhelming longing. Love how only Eren Jaeger feels it - extreme; hatred how only Eren Jaeger can feel it - catastrophic.
[His arms wrap around Aubrey without him realizing. He’s reaching for someone else. He has no idea that, when he touches her, skin burning, she’ll see what he’s seen.]
no subject
I’m trying.
[But he’s not thinking of a warm beach or a hot summer. The warmth he’s imagining is different. It drives a spike through him, red hot, so intense that his teeth grit, his body curling in tighter on itself, and, subsequently, Aubrey.
[Winters in the cadets’ barracks could be brutal. Layers of clothes did little to fight off the chill, the breaths of he and his comrades clouding the air in front of them like titan steam.
[There’s a vivid image in Eren’s mind: a strong, square jaw and blonde hair - a smile that could warm anyone’s soul. It’s late and growing ever colder, the wind outside howling loudly over a cacophony of chattering teeth and stifled, shivering laughter. Reiner Braun’s arms are tight around him, squeezing tightly and playfully, Eren groaning through a laugh at the pressure.
[”Gotta stay warm, Eren. Nothing else I can do,” his deep voice teases. Eren is snickering into his chest. Reiner feels impossibly warm, but still, they’re both shivering.
[”I’ll die from you— oof— cracking my spine before I die f-from the cold, Reiner.”
[Reiner grinds his chin roughly into Eren’s scalp - a makeshift noogie while their hands are occupied. There are laughs of protest, squirming - it’s too cold to wrestle, but they try to with their legs. Neither can fight off shudders every few seconds, squeezing each other tighter.
[”Is this shit…e-ever gonna let up?” Eren asks.
[”What, you don’t want to go out sledding? Snowball fight?”
[Another blast of cold sends Eren’s face burrowing into Reiner’s chest as they both take shuddering breaths. Strong hands rub warm circles on Eren’s back.
[It’s not just a fond memory. It’s warmth, and admiration, the bond that only two people suffering the same hell can share. Their sameness, and their closeness, and the way Eren feels Reiner close and thinks, “I’d do anything to be like him. This is my hero.”
[But there’s a rot to this memory too. Hatred, as black and deep as the void of space. Pain. The arrows of betrayal, piercing every inch of Eren.
[Grief, all-consuming, as if being swallowed and drowned. Longing. Overwhelming longing. Love how only Eren Jaeger feels it - extreme; hatred how only Eren Jaeger can feel it - catastrophic.
[His arms wrap around Aubrey without him realizing. He’s reaching for someone else. He has no idea that, when he touches her, skin burning, she’ll see what he’s seen.]