[It’s not immediate. Unlike Eren’s sharp grasp, Aubrey’s memory takes a moment to settle—and when it sets in, it’s not a grab but a gentle breeze.]
[There’s less sight than sensation. Dappled sun through the trees, leaves rustling a lullaby. The earth is soft beneath the picnic basket, and Aubrey is tired—not at all from strain or stress, but because she’s spent the morning running around with friends—Kel, Sunny, Basil. Kel’s puppy Hector has chased them (or they’ve chased him?) all around the lakeside, yipping and prancing all the way, and they’ve settled back with the older kids, Hero and Mari, for a quick nap before going home.
[Aubrey has nearly fallen asleep, but not yet. Mari is laughing; a quiet, perfect sound that Aubrey will never get tired of hearing. Hero, on one side of Mari, must’ve said something funny; he’s always so cheesy. And although Sunny is curled up on his sister’s lap, Mari’s other side is open for Aubrey to lean on. It’s a nice rest.
[She feels warm. She feels safe. She feels cared for, deeply and wholly. It’s a rare feeling. Mari strokes lithe fingers through the girl’s hair, and Aubrey drifts off to a calming hum.]
[There’s a sadness here, of course. The memory is all the more precious because this was one of the last they had, by the lake. And there was a time when the apparent defacement of this moment sent Aubrey spiraling, almost worse than the news that Mari would do such a terrible thing to herself, because something about the marks made the loss all the more real—
[But that was years ago. Sometimes Aubrey thinks she only held onto that searing rage because she had nothing else. The pictures are okay now, even if their taker isn’t; and the flame has subsided to a glowing ember, a candle in the storm. It’s a melancholy, bittersweet thing, now. Only love remains. She won’t let it die.]
[She hopes, grief-tinged as it may be, that the memory brings some peace to Eren, too.]
Edited (teeny little phrasing tweaks) 2023-09-26 17:24 (UTC)
[Eren slips deep into the memory before he can realize what's happening. As it plays out in his mind (His mind? Why?), he can't even think to question it. He feels it everywhere. The warmth of the sun on his skin, a shoulder to rest on, the ease of sleep slowly creeping in.
[It's such a peaceful thing, such a simple joy. The real Eren closes his eyes, and the Eren living in the memory does too. The gentle hum holds him like a pair of arms, soothing and safe. When's the last time he felt something like this? He can't even stop to question it. It feels so real - a longing, satisfied. There's a sadness, but that's nothing Eren isn't used to. It isn't so severe. The feeling of peace endures; peace and friendship, a love so natural and easy that it's impossible to doubt. Eren knows that feeling very well. Kel, Sunny, Basil, Mari, Hero - he'd do anything for any one of them.
[For any one of...who, again? Those names don't seem quite right, but...he's certain...
[When Aubrey takes her hand away, Eren will feel heavy like stone, and calm like the feeling of his head in his mother's lap. He's staring at Aubrey through the darkness, though he can't see her. The cold is still biting, and there are tears freezing on his cheeks, but he almost doesn't mind. Reiner is the farthest thing from his mind, suddenly, almost as if he'd never known him at all.
[He doesn't know what to say. He feels like a kid again; young, before the walls came down. His voice is very, very soft, and exceptionally genuine, considering who's talking.]
[It’s a while before Aubrey moves away. She’s not sure how this… works, exactly, and by the memory’s end it’s already lost its hold on her, but she lingers in its aftermath. Eren’s breathing seems to slow. Thank god....]
[It’s the tinge on her fingers that does it—wet? cold? Is he…? There’s some reluctance in her retreat, but Aubrey pulls back just the same. Seems it wasn’t enough to shift the room, not on its own—but she doesn’t have to see Eren to know there’s been a shift in him. Softer, this time. Like he’s someone she could just… talk to, again. Care about.]
[Aubrey can't see it, but Eren nods. Something in him just...understands - at least, for the moment, he understands. It's a love he knows, even if they've taken very different paths in response. His friends may have been a detriment to him too, once, but...he won't allow that to happen anymore, even if it does hurt them.
[Yeah. It's all...justified, right? He's doing only what he has to do.
[Doesn't have to right now though. Something in his brain finally processes; a break, needed. He takes a deep breath. He wishes his friends were here. He wishes he could see Armin; so close, and yet...]
It's cold...
[His voice sounds far away. He inches closer to Aubrey, body still radiating heat. He'd almost forgotten about survival for a minute...Is it getting warmer, or has his brain just given up to the point where he can't be fucked to care anymore?]
I'm warmer than you. Come here so you don't freeze.
[He feels almost like the old Eren, the weak Eren, the stupid Eren-- Oh, fuck it. The Eren who still had something to live for. Just let it slide this one time...
[He readies his arms for her, but doesn't grab her again. She'll let him know one way or another whether it's the warmth she needs.]
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no subject
[It’s not immediate. Unlike Eren’s sharp grasp, Aubrey’s memory takes a moment to settle—and when it sets in, it’s not a grab but a gentle breeze.]
[There’s less sight than sensation. Dappled sun through the trees, leaves rustling a lullaby. The earth is soft beneath the picnic basket, and Aubrey is tired—not at all from strain or stress, but because she’s spent the morning running around with friends—Kel, Sunny, Basil. Kel’s puppy Hector has chased them (or they’ve chased him?) all around the lakeside, yipping and prancing all the way, and they’ve settled back with the older kids, Hero and Mari, for a quick nap before going home.
[Aubrey has nearly fallen asleep, but not yet. Mari is laughing; a quiet, perfect sound that Aubrey will never get tired of hearing. Hero, on one side of Mari, must’ve said something funny; he’s always so cheesy. And although Sunny is curled up on his sister’s lap, Mari’s other side is open for Aubrey to lean on. It’s a nice rest.
[She feels warm. She feels safe. She feels cared for, deeply and wholly. It’s a rare feeling. Mari strokes lithe fingers through the girl’s hair, and Aubrey drifts off to a calming hum.]
[There’s a sadness here, of course. The memory is all the more precious because this was one of the last they had, by the lake. And there was a time when the apparent defacement of this moment sent Aubrey spiraling, almost worse than the news that Mari would do such a terrible thing to herself, because something about the marks made the loss all the more real—
[But that was years ago. Sometimes Aubrey thinks she only held onto that searing rage because she had nothing else. The pictures are okay now, even if their taker isn’t; and the flame has subsided to a glowing ember, a candle in the storm. It’s a melancholy, bittersweet thing, now. Only love remains. She won’t let it die.]
[She hopes, grief-tinged as it may be, that the memory brings some peace to Eren, too.]
no subject
[It's such a peaceful thing, such a simple joy. The real Eren closes his eyes, and the Eren living in the memory does too. The gentle hum holds him like a pair of arms, soothing and safe. When's the last time he felt something like this? He can't even stop to question it. It feels so real - a longing, satisfied. There's a sadness, but that's nothing Eren isn't used to. It isn't so severe. The feeling of peace endures; peace and friendship, a love so natural and easy that it's impossible to doubt. Eren knows that feeling very well. Kel, Sunny, Basil, Mari, Hero - he'd do anything for any one of them.
[For any one of...who, again? Those names don't seem quite right, but...he's certain...
[When Aubrey takes her hand away, Eren will feel heavy like stone, and calm like the feeling of his head in his mother's lap. He's staring at Aubrey through the darkness, though he can't see her. The cold is still biting, and there are tears freezing on his cheeks, but he almost doesn't mind. Reiner is the farthest thing from his mind, suddenly, almost as if he'd never known him at all.
[He doesn't know what to say. He feels like a kid again; young, before the walls came down. His voice is very, very soft, and exceptionally genuine, considering who's talking.]
What was that...?
no subject
[It’s a while before Aubrey moves away. She’s not sure how this… works, exactly, and by the memory’s end it’s already lost its hold on her, but she lingers in its aftermath. Eren’s breathing seems to slow. Thank god....]
[It’s the tinge on her fingers that does it—wet? cold? Is he…? There’s some reluctance in her retreat, but Aubrey pulls back just the same. Seems it wasn’t enough to shift the room, not on its own—but she doesn’t have to see Eren to know there’s been a shift in him. Softer, this time. Like he’s someone she could just… talk to, again. Care about.]
[The things desperation will do.... She shivers.]
That’s my detriment. [Her voice is quiet, too.]
no subject
[Aubrey can't see it, but Eren nods. Something in him just...understands - at least, for the moment, he understands. It's a love he knows, even if they've taken very different paths in response. His friends may have been a detriment to him too, once, but...he won't allow that to happen anymore, even if it does hurt them.
[Yeah. It's all...justified, right? He's doing only what he has to do.
[Doesn't have to right now though. Something in his brain finally processes; a break, needed. He takes a deep breath. He wishes his friends were here. He wishes he could see Armin; so close, and yet...]
It's cold...
[His voice sounds far away. He inches closer to Aubrey, body still radiating heat. He'd almost forgotten about survival for a minute...Is it getting warmer, or has his brain just given up to the point where he can't be fucked to care anymore?]
I'm warmer than you. Come here so you don't freeze.
[He feels almost like the old Eren, the weak Eren, the stupid Eren-- Oh, fuck it. The Eren who still had something to live for. Just let it slide this one time...
[He readies his arms for her, but doesn't grab her again. She'll let him know one way or another whether it's the warmth she needs.]