[Eren slips deep into the memory before he can realize what's happening. As it plays out in his mind (His mind? Why?), he can't even think to question it. He feels it everywhere. The warmth of the sun on his skin, a shoulder to rest on, the ease of sleep slowly creeping in.
[It's such a peaceful thing, such a simple joy. The real Eren closes his eyes, and the Eren living in the memory does too. The gentle hum holds him like a pair of arms, soothing and safe. When's the last time he felt something like this? He can't even stop to question it. It feels so real - a longing, satisfied. There's a sadness, but that's nothing Eren isn't used to. It isn't so severe. The feeling of peace endures; peace and friendship, a love so natural and easy that it's impossible to doubt. Eren knows that feeling very well. Kel, Sunny, Basil, Mari, Hero - he'd do anything for any one of them.
[For any one of...who, again? Those names don't seem quite right, but...he's certain...
[When Aubrey takes her hand away, Eren will feel heavy like stone, and calm like the feeling of his head in his mother's lap. He's staring at Aubrey through the darkness, though he can't see her. The cold is still biting, and there are tears freezing on his cheeks, but he almost doesn't mind. Reiner is the farthest thing from his mind, suddenly, almost as if he'd never known him at all.
[He doesn't know what to say. He feels like a kid again; young, before the walls came down. His voice is very, very soft, and exceptionally genuine, considering who's talking.]
[It’s a while before Aubrey moves away. She’s not sure how this… works, exactly, and by the memory’s end it’s already lost its hold on her, but she lingers in its aftermath. Eren’s breathing seems to slow. Thank god....]
[It’s the tinge on her fingers that does it—wet? cold? Is he…? There’s some reluctance in her retreat, but Aubrey pulls back just the same. Seems it wasn’t enough to shift the room, not on its own—but she doesn’t have to see Eren to know there’s been a shift in him. Softer, this time. Like he’s someone she could just… talk to, again. Care about.]
[Aubrey can't see it, but Eren nods. Something in him just...understands - at least, for the moment, he understands. It's a love he knows, even if they've taken very different paths in response. His friends may have been a detriment to him too, once, but...he won't allow that to happen anymore, even if it does hurt them.
[Yeah. It's all...justified, right? He's doing only what he has to do.
[Doesn't have to right now though. Something in his brain finally processes; a break, needed. He takes a deep breath. He wishes his friends were here. He wishes he could see Armin; so close, and yet...]
It's cold...
[His voice sounds far away. He inches closer to Aubrey, body still radiating heat. He'd almost forgotten about survival for a minute...Is it getting warmer, or has his brain just given up to the point where he can't be fucked to care anymore?]
I'm warmer than you. Come here so you don't freeze.
[He feels almost like the old Eren, the weak Eren, the stupid Eren-- Oh, fuck it. The Eren who still had something to live for. Just let it slide this one time...
[He readies his arms for her, but doesn't grab her again. She'll let him know one way or another whether it's the warmth she needs.]
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[It's such a peaceful thing, such a simple joy. The real Eren closes his eyes, and the Eren living in the memory does too. The gentle hum holds him like a pair of arms, soothing and safe. When's the last time he felt something like this? He can't even stop to question it. It feels so real - a longing, satisfied. There's a sadness, but that's nothing Eren isn't used to. It isn't so severe. The feeling of peace endures; peace and friendship, a love so natural and easy that it's impossible to doubt. Eren knows that feeling very well. Kel, Sunny, Basil, Mari, Hero - he'd do anything for any one of them.
[For any one of...who, again? Those names don't seem quite right, but...he's certain...
[When Aubrey takes her hand away, Eren will feel heavy like stone, and calm like the feeling of his head in his mother's lap. He's staring at Aubrey through the darkness, though he can't see her. The cold is still biting, and there are tears freezing on his cheeks, but he almost doesn't mind. Reiner is the farthest thing from his mind, suddenly, almost as if he'd never known him at all.
[He doesn't know what to say. He feels like a kid again; young, before the walls came down. His voice is very, very soft, and exceptionally genuine, considering who's talking.]
What was that...?
no subject
[It’s a while before Aubrey moves away. She’s not sure how this… works, exactly, and by the memory’s end it’s already lost its hold on her, but she lingers in its aftermath. Eren’s breathing seems to slow. Thank god....]
[It’s the tinge on her fingers that does it—wet? cold? Is he…? There’s some reluctance in her retreat, but Aubrey pulls back just the same. Seems it wasn’t enough to shift the room, not on its own—but she doesn’t have to see Eren to know there’s been a shift in him. Softer, this time. Like he’s someone she could just… talk to, again. Care about.]
[The things desperation will do.... She shivers.]
That’s my detriment. [Her voice is quiet, too.]
no subject
[Aubrey can't see it, but Eren nods. Something in him just...understands - at least, for the moment, he understands. It's a love he knows, even if they've taken very different paths in response. His friends may have been a detriment to him too, once, but...he won't allow that to happen anymore, even if it does hurt them.
[Yeah. It's all...justified, right? He's doing only what he has to do.
[Doesn't have to right now though. Something in his brain finally processes; a break, needed. He takes a deep breath. He wishes his friends were here. He wishes he could see Armin; so close, and yet...]
It's cold...
[His voice sounds far away. He inches closer to Aubrey, body still radiating heat. He'd almost forgotten about survival for a minute...Is it getting warmer, or has his brain just given up to the point where he can't be fucked to care anymore?]
I'm warmer than you. Come here so you don't freeze.
[He feels almost like the old Eren, the weak Eren, the stupid Eren-- Oh, fuck it. The Eren who still had something to live for. Just let it slide this one time...
[He readies his arms for her, but doesn't grab her again. She'll let him know one way or another whether it's the warmth she needs.]