PSL / MEME CONTINUATION

[thecoordinate]

Comments

[headhooligan]

[Self-injury.]

[Aubrey saw a lot, sees the blood dried on his hands (whose?), but that detail stands out like the red streaks down his eyes. Maybe they’ve faded by now. She hasn’t met his eyes since sitting up.]

Why. [That’s all, really.]

[thecoordinate]

[The streaks on his eyes are slightly duller than they were before, but still present, running deep grooves in his skin.]

I was saving your life.

[As if to punctuate this, he lifts her shirt just slightly - just enough to expose the wound - and then, he starts wrapping the bandages gently around her torso, hands careful and precise.]

You should be thanking me.

[headhooligan]

[A retort rises and dies in her throat.]

[His voice, as expected—not gentle. His hands, the wrapping—]

Why.

[More insistent. She doesn’t move.]

[thecoordinate]

[Silently, he wraps her wound. It takes several minutes to do it properly - pin the bandages in place, ensure they're wrapped tightly enough, adjusting here and there for comfort. He doesn't speak the entire time.

[Finally, he pulls his hands away, begins putting things back into Grisha's bag. He doesn't look at her.]

I don't know.

[headhooligan]

[It’s a long silence.]

[Aubrey wants to be somewhere else. The bandaging, adjusting, binds her here.]

[She doesn’t respond. Just breathing. Eren’s. Hers.]

[“I don’t know.”

[What a joke.]

Does that scare you?

[She doesn’t look at him, either.]

[thecoordinate]

[There's another pause, significant. He closes his father's bag.]

Does it scare you?

[headhooligan]

[Very, very funny. Eren might catch a faint, quick expression cross Aubrey’s face; it’s not fear.]

I asked first.

[And if (and only if) he hesitates, or starts to deflect again:] Answer me.

[thecoordinate]

[At the "answer me", Eren's gaze sharpens into a glare.]

You don't get to tell me what to do.

Am I afraid of you? Not by a long shot. I could tear you to pieces if I wanted to. I know you're well aware of that now.

[And yet he's still! Deflecting!]

[headhooligan]

[She meets his glare. No irritation; not amused.]

You won’t.

[thecoordinate]

Don't bet on that.

[headhooligan]

Hm.

I don’t care. Answer me.

[thecoordinate]

I have answered you.

[He can do this all day.]

[headhooligan]

[Game on.]

Why would I ever think you’re afraid of me. [Come on.]

[thecoordinate]

Tell me what you're asking, then.

I spared your life. What does that have to do with fear? Be grateful I didn't let you die.

[headhooligan]

Kh. “Spared.”

[She doesn’t have the energy to taunt him proper, but she can talk now. She can talk juuuust fine.]

Don’t be stupid, Jaeger. You say you don’t know why you did that. Does that scare you?

an apt icon for how he's feeling rn

[thecoordinate]

It isn't that serious.

[aubrey voice] i won’t hesitate, bitch

[headhooligan]

[Aubrey doesn’t know if she should feel smug or pissed. Good thing she’s getting better at staying blank-faced, huh?]

You’re still not answering me.

[thecoordinate]

No. It doesn't.

[A lie? Possibly.]

I saw that you were in danger and took action. I'm a sold-- [He cuts himself off sharp.]

I did what my instincts told me to. That's all.

[Which is why he caught her when she fell, spoke to her in soft tones, gently laid her on her back, brought her to a safe place, tenderly wrapped her bandage...

[Even he thinks he's full of shit.]

Next time I'll let that thing tear you to shreds.

[headhooligan]

Mhm.

[The self-cutoff is interesting, at least. It got a raised eyebrow, while it lasted.]

Sure you will.

[She debates answering his return question for a moment. But that wold require appreciating the extra care he’s shown, and… does she? Does she really?]
[Absolutely. A lot. In the moment. It’s passed now, though, and she’s not dwelling on it.]

You got weird instincts. [Some emotion returns to her voice at that—albeit that of someone who’s annoyed beyond all hell.]

[thecoordinate]

[Dimissively:]

I joined the military when I was twelve. I know when to act.

[headhooligan]

[There’s a moment where Aubrey has to decide if that makes her feel bad for him or not. It is objectively awful. He is (she still thinks) an objectively awful person. And the time for sympathy over eaten mothers… well, that particular moment has also passed.]

[She lands on this:] That normal for your military?

[Still trying to sound distant, even judgmental—but Eren might’ve caught the thought on her face, if he was paying attention. Not that it lasted, and not that she’s letting too much curiosity show now. But it gave her pause, and the distance is ever so tentatively lowered.]

[thecoordinate]

[It's strange. Eren doesn't catch much more about Aubrey's tone than that it's just a bit more casual-sounding, and he's...bizarrely grateful for that. Perhaps the previous conversation flustered him more than he'd like to admit; perhaps the rescue did too. He doesn't allow himself to dwell on that thought for too long.

[It scares him.]

It is.

Cadet training takes a minimum of three years. If you don't start early, what's the point?

[See, Aubrey? It's not so bad. They're only cadets at twelve so they can be frontline soldiers by fifteen.]

[headhooligan]

[Almost like it’s not fun to dwell on things that make you feel things you’d rather not.]

That’s fucked. [Entirely flippant.] I know, I know, hell world. Cruel life.

[She hadn’t quite realized she was so tense, even with the front. Without thinking Aubrey pulls up her knees, crosses her arms over them; casual gesture, not sinking into it—but it does remind her she’s still sore. She flinches involuntarily during the movement, and averts her eyes in frustration.]

[After settling, she keeps that gaze away. For now.] Must’ve seen a lot worse than this....

TW: heavy gore

[thecoordinate]

[Eren watches her shift and flinch. Something about it irritates him. 'It's going to start bleeding again...'

[He's about to say something when she makes her last statement. He falls silent in a new and unsettling way. Of all the things Eren can control - himself, others, the future, the world - when and when not to remember isn't one of them. Trauma robs one of control.

[His eyes don't just go distant - they stare off into nothing as if they're searching a horizon one hundred miles away. A storm of memories erupts in his mind. Face after bloody face; his fallen comrades. Countless faces, ceaseless screams - showers of blood, guts, and brain matter. The deafening sounds of titans chewing and tearing - a body's worth of bones, crushed all at once, not so much crunching as crackling. Limbs falling from the sky. Men and women - soldiers - begging for their lives, crying for their mothers--

[His entire body is shaking.]

[headhooligan]

[Aubrey doesn’t realize anything’s wrong, right away.]

[If the movement did spur more bleeding Aubrey resolves not to notice that, either. Fight, right? Just grit your teeth and keep breathing through the sting. Ridiculous, she thinks, that this guy’s voice is in her head so much.]

[But it really must be a lot that he’s seen, age 12 and all. Okay, maybe she’s a little sorry for being flippant again. She looks back to him and—]

[Oh god???]

[Aubrey sits bolt upright, wound be damned.] E– Eren? [It’s choked, because that definitely hurt, but, fuck it. Louder, worried:] Eren?!